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Absolutely Nothing

Elliot Kohlmyer

A substack for those who just want to read Absolutely Nothing

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issues
PublishesWeeklyIssues22
SubscribersRead absolutelynothing.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Funny Joke #1

“Knock knock.”

9 months ago
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M1KE Drop

I hastily put together a little song idea one night, and here it is for your ears to envelope.

a year ago
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Gregor

Gregor💀

a year ago
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DAMON HAS RETURNED

HELLO THERE. IT IS DAMON COMING TO YOU FROM A SAMSUNG GALAXY A14. I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY TAKEN OVER ELLIOT’S BODY AND WILL NOW BE TELLING YOU MY WORLD CHANGING SECRETS. DID YOU KNOW THAT CUCUMBERS ARE NOT REAL. THEY ARE JUST AN ILLUSION? I ONL...

a year ago
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Authors

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  • Elliot Kohlmyer

    roses are red according to all known laws of aviation i am the biggest fan of Lunar Vacation

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