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AstroSnark Substack

AstroSnark

Delivering your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues175SubscribersRead astrosnark.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 8 March Horoscopes

The Sun is currently wading through the swamp of Pisces, a transit that turns the global collective into a leaky faucet of unearned sentimentality. While you are busy “connecting with your higher self,” the actual world is being dismantled ...

5 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 4 March Horoscopes

The universe has officially entered its house on fire era. While the planets attempt a dignified alignment, the occupants of Earth are busy proving that philistine is less of a historical term and more of a lifestyle choice.

9 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 1 March Horoscopes

Last year, the solar system staged a seven-planet parade, a crowded boardroom of celestial egos vying for the same dwindling resources. This year, the universe performed a headcount and found you redundant. We’ve officially transitioned to ...

12 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 25 February Horoscopes

The Sun has officially drifted into Pisces, the zodiac’s equivalent of a velvet-lined isolation tank. It is a season of blurred lines, “manifesting” through the pain, and pretending your mounting problems are just “shadow work” you haven’t ...

16 days ago
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  • AstroSnark

    Tired of vague horoscopes and doom-scrolling? AstroSnark delivers your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

  • Frequently Asked Questions

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