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AstroSnark Substack

AstroSnark

Delivering your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues140SubscribersRead astrosnark.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 29 October Horoscopes

The Sun is deep in Scorpio, Mercury has crash-landed into Sagittarius, and Mars is lurking nearby like your most dramatic ex waiting for an argument to start. It is a week of bold declarations, sudden revelations, and karmic mic-drops, and ...

a month ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 26 October Horoscopes

The universe is in its “truth with consequences” era. The Scorpio Sun is digging up skeletons, the Gemini Moon is live-streaming them, and Mercury’s shadow phase has everyone accidentally hitting reply all on their emotional drama. Venus in...

a month ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 22 October Horoscopes

The cosmos is serving main character energy and not the good kind. We’re two days from a Full Moon in Taurus, which means financial melodrama, comfort spending, and emotional carb-loading. Mercury in Scorpio is whispering secrets no one ask...

a month ago
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19 October Horoscopes

Mars has officially started its backspin in Cancer, the cosmic equivalent of giving the emotional toddler of the zodiac a flamethrower and saying, “Go express yourself!” The result: everyone is having a meltdown about national identity, ter...

a month ago
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  • AstroSnark

    Tired of vague horoscopes and doom-scrolling? AstroSnark delivers your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

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