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AstroSnark Substack

AstroSnark

Delivering your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues191SubscribersRead astrosnark.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 3 May Horoscopes

The Sun is in Taurus, conducting an inventory of everything previously described as permanent.

3 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 26 April Horoscopes

The Sun is in Taurus, asking for proof, price, and something that does not collapse under mild pressure. Mercury has not checked the room. It has decided it already understands it. Venus in Gemini is charming everyone just long enough to av...

7 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 26 April Horoscopes

The Sun is in Taurus, demanding weight, proof, and a chair that can survive the meeting. Mercury and Mars are still tearing through Aries, so speed is currently being mistaken for strategy by people who own three chargers and no internal br...

10 days ago
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Stay Cosmic and Snarky: 22 April Horoscopes

The Sun has settled into Taurus, but the rest of the sky is still behaving like Aries hasn’t left the building. Mercury is moving fast, Mars is still convinced speed equals clarity, and Venus is quietly asking who signed off on any of this....

14 days ago
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  • AstroSnark

    Tired of vague horoscopes and doom-scrolling? AstroSnark delivers your daily dose of cosmic comedy. Horoscopes, snark, and a satirical take on the news – because the universe is absurd, and so are we.

  • Frequently Asked Questions

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