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Basic Instincts

A weekly one-panel cartoon celebrating the irreverent stupidity of the human spirit. Critters included

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Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues21Founded9 months agoLast Issue27 hours ago
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Latest Issues

Unfortunate Bird Names Anonymous (UBNA)

My family are obsessed with birdwatching—a pastime to some about as thrilling as watching paint dry on a particularly damp Tuesday, though I’ll concede that a few of these creatures are pretty cool. However, the best bit about birds is not...

27 hours ago
2

Adolf is a terrible name for a chatbot.

​Let us suppose that over a span of several years, a concentrated caucus of exceptionally clever people constructed something quite extraordinary. They unveiled it to the world with the measured reassurance of an enthusiastic dentist explai...

8 days ago
4
1

Ibiza every night!?

The mosquito is, without question, one of the most comprehensively misunderstood creatures on the planet.

​Let us, for a moment, set aside the staggering body count. I am aware this requires a rather heroic act of generosity on your part,...

15 days ago
5
1

Stay with me Kowolski

The name “Kowalski” carries a curse so profoundly absolute that simply uttering it anywhere near an 80s cop movie causes the poor devil to instantly perish.

​“Hey Kowalski, how’s your last week before retirement going?” Dead.

​“Hey Kowals...

22 days ago
4

The Secret Olympic Ambitions of Every Whale

I love the ocean. This is not a nuanced, delicate position held by a poet sipping sherry; I simply adore the vast, damp expanse.

Take dolphins, for instance. It emerged recently—and I use “recently” in the sense that I have known this for...

a month ago
2

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  • Basic Instincts

    Basic Instincts is celebration of the irreverent stupidity of the human spirit. Often superimposed onto unwitting critters. A new Cartoon every week, because I'm good like that and you look like you need it.

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