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Natalie Amari

My personal Substack

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Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesMonthly
Issues15Founded3 years agoLast Issue4 months ago
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Latest Issues

The Cost Of Wanting Everything

I want both.

That’s the problem I think. I always have. I want both and everyone keeps asking me which would be worse to leave behind, like there’s a correct answer. If I could find the pain and bandage it before it starts bleeding, it wo...

4 months ago
76
9

No Favorites

I am starting to think my inability to pick a favorite flower might be a symptom of a bigger disease.

Not a cute “haha I’m so indecisive” one.

More like a spiritual infection.

My soul has commitment issues and my body is collateral on th...

5 months ago
60
7

Sanctuary

There are nights, most nights, where I can feel the phantom hands of the desperate brushing against my skin before I even fall asleep. The ache begins just behind my sternum, an invisible pressure that builds like steam behind cathedral gla...

a year ago
82
18

Salvation

There are nights, like tonight, where I feel like I am going to come apart from wanting. I don’t know how to live without wanting like this.

It’s embarrassing, almost, how physical it is, how real, how tangible, how heavy the wanting feels...

a year ago
52
14

Back In Time

I never thought I would. I spent years making sure I never even got close to this state again. I mapped my life around avoiding it. Even when I saw it on a departure board in an airport, my stomach would drop, my breath would catch, and I w...

a year ago
40
9

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  • Natalie Amari

    A traveling model who’s lived a lot of life and has too many thoughts bouncing around upstairs. More personal, intimate journals and audio recordings available on my website :)

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