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We Were Never Real

Ashley M. Toland, DSW, LCSW, We Were Never Real

I write to stay grounded in a world that doesn’t always make sense. Adoptee in reunion, mother, suicide survivor, clinical social worker, academic, and researcher exploring the landscapes of trauma, identity, and belonging.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues11SubscribersRead neverreal.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Who Even Am I?

Individuation, the process by which a person develops a clear, separate sense of self, is a normal developmental task of adolescence (Graafsma et al., 1994; Levine et al., 1986), but for adoptees, this process can be uniquely challenging. W...

4 months ago
8
8

Coming Into Consciousness

Learning about one’s adoption is... strange. For me, it came with a glowing narrative: I was chosen! Chosen by God! That one idea shaped how I saw adoption and myself - as something special, something good. It taught me early on that to que...

5 months ago
5
8

Birth

"There is a big empty hole inside me, and I need to plug it back up. That would be my birth mother.1"

5 months ago
9
1

The Adoption Trauma Spectrum

Like taking the red pill, reunion has given me a glimpse of what might have been, the good, the bad, the unexpected. Seeing the effect nature played, to a greater degree and in contrast with nurture, has been rewarding while providing conte...

5 months ago
19
4

Authors

The writers behind this newsletter.

  • Ashley M. Toland, DSW, LCSW
  • We Were Never Real

    I write to stay grounded in a world that doesn’t always make sense. Adoptee in reunion, mother, suicide survivor, clinical social worker, academic, and researcher exploring the landscapes of trauma, identity, and belonging.

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