Wolffenhaus’s Newsletter
WolffenhausHow to get fired/thrown out of College by text and email
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Twice weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 18 | Subscribers | Read | wolffenhaus.substack.com |
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Latest Issues
Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.
The Other Monkey's Paw
Fuck that story about the mother wishing on that disgusting item. I want you back. Fuck the mythology of regret. Monkeys have a surfeit of paws. The one I wish on is the one that cagey Simian bastard used to swipe the lunch right out of the...
I Was A Teenage War Criminal
What I want is what there is but yesterday when I was young I wanted something from you. You could see it in my face when, while you ripped me a new one, I allowed it. After that I expected dissension in all things and was never disappointe...
I live here
In this neighborhood the people riding bicycles are smoking cigarettes. I don’t know what I’m doing here, I don’t know what I’m doing anywhere on this place this earthly planet.
Christmas 2025
Maybe not if you never look up at the sky at all, if all your references are someplace else. There are a lot of distractions ( and that is the world’s greatest understatement). Jesus and God are celebrities. Their fame might have missed you...
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