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Alien Sideboob

John Birmingham
Hundreds of paid subscribers

The column they wouldn't let me write for you.

Platform
Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesWeekly
Issues388Founded7 years agoLast Issue7 days ago
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Latest Issues

On love and horror.

This is hard to write, and almost impossible to get right, because Helen Haines is a human being, not a symbol or a lesson. There have been so many bad takes this week and I do not wish to add to them. But there are moments that demand we f...

7 days ago
142
19

The four year sandwich

It was nearly three and a half years ago that I sent off a manuscript to my US publishers, expecting the usual five or six weeks of nervous thumb twiddling and email checking before I got the editorial sandwich back.

We call it a sandwich...

14 days ago
65
38

I am not ashamed to call it escape

I once got drunk with Ian Rankin, the crime writer. We were on stage in front of eight or nine hundred people, and I’d asked him before the event whether he fancied a drink.

Did he ever!

We necked the better part of a bottle of whisky and...

21 days ago
97
41

Away off in the never-never

The Greens’ new leader David Shoebridge is right. The Greens can totally replace Labor as the party of the left. But Dave won’t be the guy to do it. He’s twenty years too early. Labor’s decline and fall is a demographic certainty, but a lei...

a month ago
105
37

Turn the dial up to extreme miffedness, Mr Cooley.

All I wanted to do was write a funny little column about deleting unread email. I deleted over four hundred of them the other day, an act of mass administrative violence, and the pleasure it occasioned was indescribable. Well, not quite ind...

a month ago
77
20

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  • John Birmingham

    I write for food, and vengeance. Mostly vengeance.

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