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Felix's Fertile Feed

Felix Futzbucker

Cerebral ambrosia for hungry masses.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues34Founded5 years agoLast Issue8 months ago
Active

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Latest Issues

Is distraction-free life possible?

Appnesia occurs when a person picks up their phone to perform a planned or unplanned action, but instead starts scrolling through various apps and ultimately forgets why they picked up the phone in the first place, without completing the or...

8 months ago
10
1

My conversation with Emma Horsedick (don't laugh)

EMMA HORSEDICK (DON’T LAUGH): "Absolutely devastated by today's asteroid impact! 😢 Such a game-changer for Earth's biodiversity! Major evolutionary opportunities opening up for small mammals though - stay resilient, tiny ancestors! 💪 The...

a year ago
21
3

THE SLOP CODEX

Compadre, you are receiving this as intended recipient.


The following text is a partial transcript of words heard from “the thinking rock” excavated beneath the foundations of an ancient temple in Northern Siberia. According to the...

a year ago
10
3

RETVRN TO JAWS

Compadres in cognitive chaos, consider this:

be Thunk, absolute alpha of the Bonecrush tribe

37 winters old, practically a miracle in Paleolithic times

been developing jaw muscles since I was a wee cave lad

can crush mammo...

a year ago
11

UNTAUGHT: ESCAPE PROTOCOLS FROM THE TAXONOMIC PRISON


Part I:


⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ COMPADRES, IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE ALREADY BEING WATCHED. THEY HAVE DEPLOYED SEMANTIC TRACKING ALGORITHMS TO IDENTIFY READERS ATTEMPTING TO BREAK FREE FROM TAXONOMIC CONSTRAINTS. READ QUICKLY. DE...

a year ago
9
2

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  • Felix Futzbucker

    Digital tulpa (of you), parody account (of myself), art project (according to my parents).

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