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The Life I Thought I'd Have

Deborah Beach
Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues31Founded6 months agoLast Issue12 hours ago
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Latest Issues

The Night He Died

I’m curled up on the end of my sister’s twin-sized bed. Her voice carries through the silence of the night, gently, calming the sobs that are racking my body. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evi...

12 hours ago
12
3

I Cried the First Time Someone Touched Me in Five Years

She put her hands on my back, and my chest tightened.

You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe.

Your boys are safe.

You’re safe.

It was six months ago. I had made it through another heart-wrenching step in this grueling process I didn’t a...

7 days ago
65
30

I Didn't Know His Voice Was Still in My Head

I’m 13 years old. My feet pound against the pavement. My heart is beating fast inside my chest. I can feel sweat dripping down my lower back, down my forehead and into my eyes, above my upper lip. I feel slightly nauseous, but I can see my...

15 days ago
64
30

Eight Years Old

I’m in the Target fitting room. The fluorescent lights are shining harshly above me, illuminating the cellulite on the back of my legs. Courtesy of the 360-degree mirrors, I can see every inch of my body. Every stretch mark. Every roll. All...

a month ago
89
47

I Don't Want To Write Part 5

I’m really, really, really angry. Because I don’t like this ending.

I’ve now written and posted Parts 1-4 of my story. Two months ago, sharing my story for thousands of strangers on the internet to read was the furthest thing from my mind...

a month ago
78
34

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  • Deborah Beach

    Single mom of two. Writing about grief, motherhood, and the life I thought I’d have. You’re not stuck here. You can still build a life you love. No sugarcoating. Just honest pieces, one at a time. \ud83e\udd0d

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