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The Life I Thought I'd Have

Deborah Beach
Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues28Founded6 months agoLast Issue9 days ago
Active

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Latest Issues

Eight Years Old

I’m in the Target fitting room. The fluorescent lights are shining harshly above me, illuminating the cellulite on the back of my legs. Courtesy of the 360-degree mirrors, I can see every inch of my body. Every stretch mark. Every roll. All...

9 days ago
82
44

I Don't Want To Write Part 5

I’m really, really, really angry. Because I don’t like this ending.

I’ve now written and posted Parts 1-4 of my story. Two months ago, sharing my story for thousands of strangers on the internet to read was the furthest thing from my mind...

23 days ago
74
34

Part 4: The Night Everything Changed

This is the hardest part for me to write. I’ve been avoiding it for days. I still have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing what comes next. I still have that urge to run far away from the memories that haunt me. It’s in my natu...

a month ago
122
54

I'm Done Walking Past the Card Aisle

Father’s Day 2008. A handmade card, Happy Father’s Day sprawled on the front. Inside his favorite scripture verse, right next to “I love you so much” in my chicken scratch handwriting. We go to Pizza Hut with his parents. My mom orders two...

a month ago
51
41

Part 3: The Drowning

But I began to notice something. And it became harder and harder to ignore. No matter how much I tried.

As the tension at home began to grow, as the breaches of trust became more frequent, and as the nights I cried myself to sleep as he la...

2 months ago
93
46

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  • Deborah Beach

    Single mom of two. Writing about grief, motherhood, and the life I thought I’d have. You’re not stuck here. You can still build a life you love. No sugarcoating. Just honest pieces, one at a time. \ud83e\udd0d

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