Everyone walks in pretending they are a normal person with a list. Spinach. Eggs. Greek yogurt. Toilet paper. One little treat because we are still human and the wor...

a month ago

156

source

The Car Wash Is Way Too Intense Now

I knew car washes had changed when I watched a grown woman fight a vacuum.

Not argue with it. Fight it.

This woman was standing outside her SUV with one hand on her hip and the other jabbing the machine like she was trying to wake a dead...

a month ago

source

I Was Born in the Wrong Century and My Body Type Agrees

Image courtesy of me screenshotting an unknown rando’s post on Insta.

I was putting lotion on after a shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, which is always a jarring experience because the mirror is positioned at the exact...

2 months ago

103

source

I Adopted a Plant From the Sidewalk Free Pile and It Came With Bugs That Now Live in My Kitchen

I found a couch on the sidewalk once that had a stain shaped like Abraham Lincoln’s profile and I sat on it for five whole minutes before a woman walking her Pomeranian gave me a look so devastating I pretended I was tying my shoe. A couch...

3 months ago

source

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Finding the absurd humor in everyday disasters.

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