Dr Dutch Hazlett
Autistic professor of humanities and non-profit director
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 59 | Founded | 3 months ago | Last Issue | 14 days ago |
| Active | |||||
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drdutchhilligan.substack.comLatest Issues
The Bidet Conspiracy - Epilogue
good intentions. Let’s treat it with the same curiosity we afford to air fryers, yoga pants, and whatever Elon Musk is selling this week.
Ask your friends. Visit a Japanese hotel. Try it at 30% pressure if you’re nervous. Just try. That’s...
The Bidet Conspiracy - Chapt 10
So here we are. Nine chapters in. Thousands of words later. We’ve traversed the tiled landscape of fear, identity, purity, satire, and sociopolitical instability—all through the humble nozzle of a bathroom fixture.
And now you, dear reader...
The Bidet Conspiracy - Chapt 9
Progress isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet stream of warm water, a gentle shift in routine, a whisper that says, You don’t have to suffer to be clean.
After eight chapters of denial, rage, and comedic repression, we arrive at the r...
The Bidet Conspiracy - Chapt 8
Let’s be clear: not using a bidet won’t make you a fascist. But refusing to consider one? That might.
Stay with me.
Because the story of the American bidet banishment is not just about hygiene or habit—it’s about cultural rigidity, the fe...
The Bidet Conspiracy - Chapt 7
Satire, we are told, is the weapon of the powerless. The scalpel that slices through hypocrisy, the whisper that topples empires. But in America, satire often functions less like a revolutionary blade and more like a bar stool monologue—sma...
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Autistic professor of humanities and non-profit director
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