Elliot Paisley
Writing about the tragically ludicrous and the ludicrously tragic. Surprisingly down to earth. I like you more than a friend.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Freemium | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 40 | Founded | 10 months ago | Last Issue | 10 days ago |
| Active | |||||
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elliotpaisley.substack.comLatest Issues
You’re Shit At Halloween
Halloween’s a bit like everything else. We Brits invented it, the Americans commercialised it, and we bought it right back. Like a bunch of fuckin’ suckers.
But that’s okay. Really, I don’t mind. Today’s ritual of candy and plastic ma...
Reminds Me Of That Tragedy
He hated clichés. Unfortunately, I’m not talented enough to start without one. And besides, if it’s true, it can’t be sentimental.
Norm MacDonald is a heavyweight contender for the funniest man ever documented. There may have been a r...
Don't Skimp On The Meat
Some say there’s no such thing as ‘perfect’. That it’s an aim; a fantastical ideal not possible on this mortal, material plane. Like true silence, perpetual motion, or Belgium.
And for almost all of history, those people were right. Nothi...
Your Phone Is A Newspaper
The time between the invention of a new technology and the establishment of its etiquette is an ‘orrible kind of hell. That hell is where we live. Forever and always and now more than ever.
Thankfully, for each new shiny doodad, thing...
Be Fat
For once (and exactly once) in your miserable life.
”It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the girth and gut of which his body is capable.”
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Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
Makes the girls go crazily. Transcribed from the cubicle walls of the Purple Turtle's mensroom.
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