
15 months ago I became a widow aged 36 with a toddler not yet two. For 10 years we knew this day would come. This substack shares our story, in Jackson's words and mine.
| Platform | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Weekly | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 19 | Founded | a year ago | Last Issue | 6 days ago |
| Active | |||||

Every now and then, I turn Jackson’s phone on. He had hundreds of notes, from passwords we’d long forgotten, to a meticulously kept list of paint colors by room.
When he died, his rolling to-do list had 200 items on it. Things like “fit la...
“Have you noticed any personality changes in him?”
“Is he himself?”
Four years ago this week Jackson and I were squeezed into a small windowless room with two brain surgeons and Eleanor in a pram as the doctors asked me these questions....
The night before I was induced to have Eleanor, Jackson and I went out for sushi and talked about meeting our baby.
We had to be at the hospital for 5am the next morning, and we couldn’t wait to meet this new person that would be the blen...
I thought I would have more time.
When we sat side-by-side in shock on the bench overlooking the lake outside the hospital in Milwaukee and Jackson said those words it was:
Two weeks after his brain surgery.
A little over five mo...
Upcoming death makes you over analyze everything.
You suddenly want to iron out all the creases and make out that you were a great person.
I recently found this in the notes section at the end of Jackson’s writing. Anyone who knew him wil...
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The writers behind this newsletter.
At 36, I became a widow with a toddler. For ten years we lived knowing this day would come. Here, I share our journey, in Jackson’s words and mine.
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