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I've Been Meaning to Say...

Esme Rose Marsh

Writing on truth, reality and memory.

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Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesMonthly
Issues29Founded2 years agoLast Issue6 days ago
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Latest Issues

To All the Boys I Loved Before

Thank you for existing

Time stamp: August 2023

6 days ago
1
Paid

Everything I Know About Love at 30

On my twentieth birthday I received a relationship’s first “I love you.” It didn’t come much as a surprise, we had been together for six months by that point. But the dopamine release of hearing those three words — a confirmation of mutuali...

23 days ago
9
14

The Violence of Growing Up a Girl

In our two-month long conversational streak — one that has been punctuated only by sleep (sometimes only bouts of it at that) — he and I talk about what it would be like to be small again. “I’d apply myself hard,” he says. “You couldn’t pay...

2 months ago
4

Yes, I'm Avoiding You

I have always retreated to mull over situations and find solutions alone like a bear in torpor. I cover my wounds in moss and set my broken bones with twigs. I do not eat 20,000 calories a day in preparation, but I do swallow my feelings, w...

3 months ago
5

How to Be a Human in a Bigger Way

I sat on the train home one recent evening feeling hazy and mildly dehydrated as I always am after a day in the office. I shifted from the window seat to the aisle and considered in my loosened grip on reality not predestination but rather,...

4 months ago
2
2

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  • Esme Rose Marsh

    Hi, I’m Esme Rose Marsh. I write a free monthly newsletter that explores the coalition between memory and truth. It’s called ‘I’ve Been Meaning to Say’. My paywalled series ‘Shelf of Longing’ launches 11th June \ud83c\udf00\ud83c\udf00

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