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feelings from the fish tank

alyx zella

all the things in my upstairs attic

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Substack
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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

Forgive Me Father

When I meet him at the bar, a damp woody low-ceiling nook of a dive, he buys me a drink. I don't have to ask or faux fumble for my card. He just does. I’m a little nervous, as I always am before these kinds of things—meeting various men in...

5 months ago
2
0

for the love of god

in some ways, i feel i have always lived a halfway life. observing others teeter on the edge of what my learned bias denotes as true chaos and sin, finding myself in turn committing only petty venial ones and calling it rebellion. maybe eve...

9 months ago
2
0

Non-Monogamous Anonymous

He mentions his fiancée and I choke. The revelation of her existence prompting the chia seeds in my smoothie to feel like gravel coming back up. As he leaves, I let my gaze walk him out the door, hoping he’ll turn back at me and steal one m...

9 months ago
2
0

pitchfork poisoning (revised edition)

it's 1 something in the a.m. technically monday morning. what a way to start the week. i shower, apply a wash of dark burgundy to my lips, and get in the car, making sure to check its license plate first. why does riding in some stranger’s ...

10 months ago
1
0

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  • alyx zella

    welcome to all the things in my upstairs attic

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