Five-Eight Bald
NYC * I write nihilism and satire with razzle dazzle for the people * Carlin, Palahniuk, & Sedaris are on Mount Rushmore * Subscribe. Everything is free *
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Twice weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 9 | Founded | 7 months ago | Last Issue | 5 months ago |
| Active | |||||
Read this Newsletter
58bald.substack.comLatest Issues
Chapter 1: We’re All in Our “Not the Future We Were Promised” Era
I love that I can get high in Sara's living room without her. Because I love getting high, and I am in Sara's living room without her.
The callous on my thumb. The grind and click of a wheel. The combustion of liquid hydrogen and carbon s...
Preview: Chapter 19
I’ve written a book, Tuesdays With Murray: A Stoner’s Search for Meaning and Bill Murray, and it’s approaching its final draft. Anyway, here’s a preview of a chapter I will post in full soon. Thanks for stopping by.
I love that I ca...
Jalapen-Yo's Bar and Grill
“Your sister was a veterinarian? That’s so interesting,” I said to Yashanpreet before taking a sip of one of my 4 margaritas, and going on to say
“You know, I never understand why videos of animals raising other species go viral.
The gor...
Everyone's Dead at The Whambly. My Rent Might go Down $50. I went to Costco.
I guess I could get an Uber to somewhere.
I don’t know where I’ll go.
I don’t want to go anywhere.
But I don’t want to just wait here watching them roll stretchers out of my apartment building like it’s morgue-baggage claim at an airport...
Cruel Optimism
Maybe it was the still-twitching body she stepped over in the hallway. Possibly dead. Possibly warming up for sex.
It’s the possibilities that keep her going.
Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work...
Key Facts
Audience Metrics
Subscribers, engagement, traffic and sponsorship for Five-Eight Bald.
| Subscribers | Engagement | 66 | Monthly Web Visits | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Accepts Sponsors | Estimated Cost per Ad | ||||
Explore More
Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
NYC * I write nihilism and satire with razzle dazzle for the people * Carlin, Palahniuk, & Sedaris are on Mount Rushmore * Subscribe. Everything is free *
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I access the email archive for Five-Eight Bald?
You can find recent issues that have been published by Five-Eight Bald on Reletter by scrolling up to where it says Latest Issues. Tap on the link for any of the most recent emails or hit More Issues to see older ones.
How many subscribers does Five-Eight Bald have?
To see how many people subscribe to Five-Eight Bald, simply upgrade your Reletter account. We provide readership numbers and lots of other stats for this newsletter so you can decide if it's worth reaching out to.
How can I advertise in Five-Eight Bald?
Newsletter advertising can be extremely effective when it's done right. Before you pitch Five-Eight Bald as a potential sponsor or partner, make sure that you've done your research and checked its newsletter stats with Reletter.
Then, personalize one of our winning pitching templates and send it to the right person using the contact info provided.
How much does it cost to sponsor a publication like Five-Eight Bald?
Newsletter ad rates (or CPM) vary depending on many factors, including industry, number of subscribers, open rate, ad placement and more.
To find out how much an ad will cost, contact Five-Eight Bald using the contact information provided and ask for a copy of their media kit.
How can I find newsletters related to Five-Eight Bald?
Scroll up to where it says Related Newsletters to see other publications like Five-Eight Bald. You can also search our email newsletter directory to discover other newsletters that cover the topics you're interested in.
How do I contact Five-Eight Bald?
Reletter provides this newsletter's website URL above, where you will often find their contact information. We also provide links to associated social media accounts and pitching templates so you can reach out fast.