i've got your news right here, pal
Audrey Farnsworth"i'm a huge bitch who loves to tell you The News!" – audrey farnsworth
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 77 | Subscribers | Read | audipenny.substack.com |
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Latest Issues
Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.
Somebody wrote a script about the radioactive Walmart shrimp
Hey, I guess somebody wrote a script about those radioactive shrimp at Walmart? And, for some weird reason, they framed me and said I wrote it? So weird, like why would someone do that? This has happened to me before, by the way — so weird....
The Terrain On LinkedIn Is The Ground Is Opening Up And Turning Into a Mouth And Eating Job Seekers
Look, the last thing I would’ve wanted for myself was to write another one of these. I don’t want to look at LinkedIn ever again in my life, but it’s 2025 and the jobs are not okay. And not only are the jobs not okay, but now there appears ...
Return of the Loud Loliday (2025)
The loud holiday is upon us once again. The clock struck midnight on July 4 and the gates of space were opened, as the noises began rushing down to earth like lava from a big volcano in the sky. By dawn, every part of the country was satura...
I became obsessed with people replying to KFC on F*cebook
I don’t use F*cebook. In fact, I deleted my F*cebook awhile ago, only to recently create a new one only to “follow” my mom’s memory care facility, because they would often post pictures of the residents doing activities and going on little ...
Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
I am Audrey Farnsworth. I am currently perched in a tree.
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