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The Bad Enough Mother: A Defense

Jessica Jane

A literary defense of bad mothering; a phenomenological (in the broad sense) exploration of drugs, hope, and other forms of magical thinking; an apology to my son Aubrey and anyone who uses drugs

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesTwice weekly
Issues119Founded3 years agoLast Issue6 days ago
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Artwork for The Bad Enough Mother: A Defense

Latest Issues

My son’s death made me a better mother

I started thinking about the human heart, how it operates like a valve, or a filter. What I have seen and experienced, run through my heart.

That perhaps the purpose of the human heart is to transform suffering, sop it up, wring it through...

6 days ago
7

Fidelity

Princess Anna Arkadyevna Karenina

When I was fifteen, I once hid out in a train station overnight. Although the ticket window was closed, and there was no one around, the waiting room was open. From a giant vent in the ceiling blew hot air...

7 days ago
6

Flower, pistol, stamen, style

I wanted to understand, but not with my mind. I needed to use my body.

I swallowed the capsule. I ate the seed.

Everything that has once flowered can be consumed.

I joined a conversation with a dead son, who pointed out to me that there...

19 days ago
18
6

Means--A manifesto

Let your teeth grow crooked

I let my teeth grow crooked.

Let the wane white hairs fall out.

I let my hair fall out.

Let the tomatoes ripen in a quiet room.

They are green. I will let them ripen.

You are fifty-five.

I am fifty-five, s...

21 days ago
8
2

Rituals, sequins, sunlight, poverty

I stand in the Dollarama beside a woman in a hijab. We consult the choices side by side, not speaking, not knowing one another, but bound by the similarity of our child’s birth time.

There are balloons: red, yellow, opalescent, pink, turqu...

a month ago
10
4

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  • Jessica Jane

    Writer, runner, rabble-rouser, grieving parent

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