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Joint Custody

Candy Downs

Essays about life, love, and living with my exes.

Platform
Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesWeekly
Issues55Founded2 years agoLast Issue18 days ago
Active

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Artwork for Joint Custody

Latest Issues

Mother

My mother is visiting us next week.

I call her mother when I am being serious, I call her mama when I am being sweet, I say my mom when I am talking about her behind her back, and sometimes, now this is her favorite … old woman.

When sh...

18 days ago
43
32

Sleep at Night

“When I move out in two years I know you’ll miss me.”

I said to JC, my roommate/ex-husband, over a glass of wine on the porch.

“As if you’re moving out. Where would you even go?”

JC scoffs, as if he knows something I don’t know.

Gettin...

24 days ago
45
18

It's Cool

“Oh god, it’s fine.”

I reassure a crying man who’s breaking up with me via voice text.

“Of course we’ll stay friends, duh!”

I text while deleting all the pictures of him off my phone.

As someone who’s read He’s Just Not That Into You a...

25 days ago
49
28

Text Me In The Morning

Don’t text me unless you’ve had a vasectomy:

I adore kids, I have one, he’s pretty cool. Even so, if you’re of an age where you want to spread your seed or sow your oats, please engagement farm elsewhere. I will not be bearing your fruit,...

a month ago
61
32

April

a collection of poems

Happy girls can write sad poems

a month ago
44
19
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  • Candy Downs

    Writer. Diet Coke addict. Your favorite ex-girlfriend.

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