lauren oliver
poetry, philosophy, & essays about sobriety, solitude, psychology, art, creativity, relationships, god, nature, identity, and the ongoing experiment of being a perfectly imperfectly human.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Twice weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 142 | Founded | 2 years ago | Last Issue | 6 days ago |
| Active | |||||
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laurennoliver.substack.comLatest Issues
letting go is erotic.
I experience a weird,
erotic satisfaction
when I throw things away.
get rid of things.
delete things.
even trash.
a dirty paper towel.
a wrapper.
an empty bottle.
an old video.
I love the feeling
of possession ending.
there is...
and for my next trick, I will become the person I needed when I was a child.
and for my next trick,
I will become
the person
I needed
when I was
a child.
I will learn that
leaving
and being left
are opposite.
I will learn that
expression
and being sensitive
are a gift.
I will take myself
to the movies...
fuck me psychologically.
I don’t need your sex.
I need you in my head.
notice the sentence
I almost said.
ask me why I’m nervous.
wonder why I’m so curious.
don’t touch me
yet.
I need the thought
beneath the thought.
the want
beneath the want.
look at...
fuck, I love myself.
fuck, I love myself.
I take nudes
to send
to no one
for the erotic satisfaction
of being unavailable
for consumption.
I desire myself.
I know myself.
All I want
is to be alone
with myself.
I want to take her
to fancy hotels...
I lost half an eyebrow and found myself.
I went to get my eyebrows done last week
but I never got them done.
I lost half of my left eyebrow.
I stared at myself in the mirror,
laughing and panicking simultaneously,
like God was humbling me aesthetically.
the panic came...
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