Matthew Goldin
23. Bisexual. Writer for Saturday Night Live. Actually making it a tad more subversive, believe it or not. Looking for a roomie rn, so HMU if LA is the vibe!
| Platform |  | Pricing | Freemium | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 11 | Founded | 6 years ago | Last Issue | a month ago |
| Active | |||||
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matthewgoldin.substack.comLatest Issues
Until
I discerned a blurry, indistinct figure coming my way through the fog with benign intentions, so I made myself presentable and waited. As the entity approached, I wondered who it could be. Most members of my peer support network were either...
Zombie Story
It was magic hour in Los Angeles.
It was magic hour in Los Angeles. Zombies were eating the brains of the denizens, as is their wont. I refer both to the wont of the zombies, and the wont of the city’s denizens, which is to have their brai...
Breasts Hurt During Global Warming
When I was in fourth grade, our school bully drowned in his family’s pool because his parents left the menace unsupervised in the water.
Had he lived, he probably would have ended up working at a McDonalds or Burger King, if I’m being comp...
Flesh Light
“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
– Anonymous
A Fleshlight, also sometimes called a Pocket Pussy, is an artificial orifice, most often resembling a vagina, but sometimes also an anus or mouth. Fle...
My Progeny
My grandchildren were zoning out in an enormous play structure. They were tired of fun and games. They’d been at the park for several hours at this point, and their energy levels had dropped. But their minds were still active.
Why am I eig...
Audience Metrics
Subscribers, engagement, traffic and sponsorship for Matthew Goldin.
| Subscribers | Engagement | 79 | Monthly Web Visits | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Accepts Sponsors | Estimated Cost per Ad | ||||
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The writers behind this newsletter.
23. Bisexual. Writer for Saturday Night Live. Actually making it a tad more subversive, believe it or not. Looking for a roomie rn, so HMU if LA is the vibe!
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