Reletter
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Everyone attends to the student; there is an entire industry for that. This is about the rest of it — a child becoming someone, a parent becoming someone else, in the same house at the same time. From a veteran college counselor who has seen it all.

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Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues17Founded7 months agoLast Issue11 days ago
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mindyhapemanrose.substack.com
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Latest Issues

The Things We Keep

I brought the bin up and we sat on the floor of the TV room with it between us.

In all the years of hauling that bin from house to house, I had never once opened it in front of her.

xo, Mindy is a reader-supported publication. To receive...

11 days ago
3
1

Leave a Little Room for Her

In March, a girl who has committed to a university she toured once joins the class Instagram account and finds a roommate. They live in different states. They haven’t met. Inside a week they’ve agreed on a color — sage, maybe, or a particul...

18 days ago
9
6

Why We Apologize

My colleagues in Shanghai could read me before I opened my mouth.

There was a gesture I made without knowing I made it — fingers to palm, hands clasped a certain way, shoulders squaring slightly. Someone would catch someone else’s eye acro...

25 days ago
4

Ew... I Need a Platform

On the first of January I woke up and remembered that this was to be the Year of the Fire Horse. The Gregorian and Chinese calendars do not line up — by lunar reckoning the fire horse would not arrive until the middle of February — but I ha...

a month ago
6
1

Big Idea Breakdown is now xo, Mindy

A question has been making the rounds in the parent groups I read: does being called "mama" give you the ick?

Not by your child. By everyone else. The yoga instructor mid-pose: You've got this, mama. The group text. The pediatrician's fron...

a month ago
5
2

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  • Mindy Hapeman Rose

    Twenty years studying how applying to college exposes the family doing it: money, class, race, old ambitions — who decides, who defers, who was never asked. How children learn to choose, and the ways adults, meaning well, choose for them.

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