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The Oncology Underground

Hans Casteels

Welcome to Dispatch from the Oncology Underground. Prostate cancer, medical absurdity, and the slow-motion collapse of dignity, served with a side of dark humour and the occasional tofu recipe.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesDaily
Issues402SubscribersRead nutmegphantasy.substack.com

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Latest Issues

Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.

The Olympic Tumor Games: A Endless Marathon Nobody Trains For. Sprint, Collapse, Repeat.

The Olympics of Cancer were not an event anyone remembers signing up for, which is already a suspicious way to run a sporting competition. One day you are living a perfectly respectable civilian life, complaining about taxes, the price of b...

6 days ago
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Signs From The Dead, or, Haunting Sharon: A Posthumous Quality Assurance Program With Unlimited Lifetime Service

If there is an afterlife and it comes with even the most basic customer service options, Sharon can expect very clear evidence that I remain operational. Not feathers. Not cardinals. Certainly not some sentimental breeze rustling through th...

7 days ago
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Breaking News: Apparently, The Cure Is Coming Soon (Please Remain Alive Until Further Notice)

The modern cancer patient does not merely receive a diagnosis. That would be quaint. Instead, one receives a lifetime subscription to an endless parade of medical announcements, breakthrough declarations, miracle therapies, and revolutionar...

7 days ago
25
12

The Pamphlet Paradox

Before modern medicine cuts, irradiates, medicates, or monitors you, it performs its most sacred ritual: it gives you a pamphlet. Not a diagnosis. Not clarity. Not even eye contact of meaningful duration. A pamphlet. A tri folded artifact o...

9 days ago
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6

Authors

The writers behind this newsletter.

  • Hans Casteels

    Survived cancer, marriage, and the healthcare system. Barely. Now I write about life’s side effects: insomnia, irony, and misplaced optimism. It’s not inspirational; it’s just what happens when sarcasm outlives shame.

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