The Oncology Underground
Hans CasteelsWelcome to Dispatch from the Oncology Underground. Prostate cancer, medical absurdity, and the slow-motion collapse of dignity, served with a side of dark humour and the occasional tofu recipe.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Daily |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 607 | Founded | 2 years ago | Last Issue | 47 hours ago |
| Active | |||||
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nutmegphantasy.substack.comLatest Issues
Election Signs and Cancer Brochures. Full-Bodied Bullshit with Notes of Change
An election slogan is a remarkable little achievement in language. It allows a person to ask for power without saying what he intends to do with it, then presents the omission as evidence of leadership. “Vote for change,” says the sign. Und...
The Adventures Of Hans and Hank the Catheter
The moral of the story, for men with catheters, is to establish where your penis ends before walking away from anything. You may believe it is still safely inside your trousers, where you left it, but its jurisdiction now extends into parts...
I Came to Take a Pee, Not an Aptitude Test
There is a particular position you adopt in front of an automatic tap when it has decided you are beneath its notice. Hands together, palms up, slightly bowed. It is the posture of a man asking for a small mercy. You wanted water. You have...
Your Holiness, Have You Tried Praying?
The Pope has cancer. I realise that the appropriate response involves solemn concern, but I would like a brief word with his employer. This man has devoted his life to the Big Dude. He has risen through the organisation, accepted the wardro...
Airplane Boarding Adventures
There is something about an airport gate that makes an adult with a mortgage behave like a pigeon near a dropped sandwich. The aircraft is visible through the window. The seat is assigned. The boarding pass specifies when to approach. Never...
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| Subscribers | Engagement | 91 | Monthly Web Visits | ||
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Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
Survived cancer, marriage, and the healthcare system. Barely. Now I write about life’s side effects: insomnia, irony, and misplaced optimism. It’s not inspirational; it’s just what happens when sarcasm outlives shame.
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