Off The Press Satire
The Most Trusted Name in Satire News | Find us on other platforms \ud83d\udc47
| Platform |  | Pricing | Freemium | Publishes | Daily |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 80 | Founded | 8 months ago | Last Issue | 3 months ago |
| Active | |||||
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offthepress.substack.comLatest Issues
Office's Copier More Volatile than Iranian Government
PAPER JAM, REMOVE PAPER—John in HR dislikes the office copier. In fact, he hates it. Everyday is a battle with this thing. He presses print. Walks to the copier. No print jobs. He walks back. Presses print again. Walks back again. Copier pr...
Coach Says Jack Hughes Can Come to Practice an Hour Late Today
USA! USA! USA!—Jack Hughes, who scored the overtime goal that won the United States its first gold medal in hockey in 40 years, has impressed an entire nation except his boss. His supervisor emailed him late last night and told him to “slee...
Corporate Holiday Party Doubles as Black History Month Celebration
MERRY CHRISTMAS—As a special thank you for your hard work this year, you company is throwing a holiday party for all employees. It is February already and you have an eight hour drive ahead of you but we expect you to be there! Time missed...
Man's Pen Stops Working Despite Vicious Scribbling
PENNSYLVANIA—Matthew has journaled every single day for four years. He has a favorite pen. It feels so eloquent in his hand, his strokes move without friction. He loves his choice of pen. However, it runs out of ink constantly on him. He sc...
Entire Midwest Walks Dog Once Temp Reaches 33 Degrees
SUNS OUT, TONGUES OUT—The heatwave and false spring this week has caused millions to feel the warmth of the sun for the first time in months. Because of this weather, the entire Midwest has decided to walk the dog outside—even those without...
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