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Schwartz Shorts

Eric G. Schwartz
Tens of paid subscribers

I’ve found myself in many amusing situations over the years, and writing about them has become surprisingly enjoyable. I’d love to share my experiences with you. I hope my observations will entertain, inform, and most importantly—make you laugh!

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues96Founded2 years agoLast Issue6 days ago
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Latest Issues

A Trial Separation: My Profound Ambivalence About the NFL

When I was dating someone shortly after I graduated from college, an old friend said: “The relationship won’t work — she’s Jewish, and you’re NFL.” I don’t remember who I was dating, but I never questioned my love of the NFL. Until now.

Th...

6 days ago
2
1

Finding My Edge

I started bringing strapping tape and scissors to the UPS store whenever I mail a package. It’s silly, but it makes me feel like I’m saving time because I think I can affix the mailing label and tape up my box while I wait in line. I become...

13 days ago
3

Whose Security Deposit Is It Anyway? (Version 2.0)

Opening the envelope with your security deposit check is like scratching off an instant-win lottery ticket. The difference is that, instead of revealing how much you’ve won, you discover how much of your own money you’ve lost. We were surpr...

20 days ago
3

Whose Security Deposit Is It Anyway? (Revised)

Opening the envelope with your security deposit check is like scratching off an instant-win lottery ticket. The difference is that, instead of revealing how much you’ve won, you discover how much of your own money you’ve lost. We were surpr...

20 days ago
3

This Is Your Brain; This Is Your Brain on “Free”

When I think about the free breakfast offered by mid-tier hotel chains like Fairfield Inn, the first thing that comes to mind is being crushed by an avalanche of cold cereal. Not because this has ever happened to me, but because I’ve never...

a month ago
2
2

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