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Shani Mcilwain (she/her)

I write all my feelings. I probably share a little too much. I love Jesus. I’m on a liberation train toward freedom, and I hope I die empty, having given everything I was meant to give.

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Substack
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Issues179Founded2 years agoLast Issue3 days ago
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Latest Issues

Sometimes Church Looks Like:

There was a time when I believed being a good friend meant having an answer.

If someone called to vent, I was already formulating a solution before they finished telling the story. I wasn’t trying to be dismissive. I genuinely wanted to he...

3 days ago
2
1

Sometimes Church Looks Like:

When grief, calling, and Scripture find you in the candy aisle.

Take a journey with me.

This one is being written in almost real time.

I’ve been dancing out of rhythm lately. Off beat. Especially with my writing.

Writing is how I want t...

4 days ago
2

Sometimes Church Looks Like:

One thing I have probably done a little excessively over the years is celebrate the birthdays of the people I’ve loved.

I go all in.

Thoughtful gifts. Favorite meals. Surprises. Trips. Details. The kind of celebrating that says, I’m so gl...

5 days ago
1

Sometimes Church Looks Like:

My mother believed deeply in public education.

She didn’t just believe in sending children to school. She believed in showing up. She taught me early that if you wanted schools to serve children well, parents had to be active participants....

6 days ago
1
1

Sometimes Church Looks Like:

There is a particular kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from working with your hands.

It comes from carrying people.

Not physically.

Emotionally.

I have spent much of my life holding emotional labor.

Not because someone formally ass...

7 days ago
2
3

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  • Shani Mcilwain (she/her)

    I write all my feelings. I probably share a little too much. I love Jesus. I’m on a liberation train toward freedom, and I hope I die empty, having given everything I was meant to give.

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