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Smiling but Spiraling

D’Layne Benson
Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues5Foundeda year agoLast Issue21 days ago
Active

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Artwork for Smiling but Spiraling

Latest Issues

I Became Everything They Needed. Now I Don’t Know Who I Am.

I’ve been a chameleon most of my life. I’m skilled at turning myself into whatever I feel the people around me want. I can walk into a room with people from almost any background or culture and endear myself to them. That’s a skill that’s s...

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I'm Not People-Pleasing. I'm Just Nice!

Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash

Most women who would describe themselves as people-pleasers say it with a kind of rueful self-awareness, like it’s a quirk they’ve made peace with. I just care too much. I’ve always been this way. A...

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Your Calm Might Not Be Peace. It Might Be a Trauma Response.

I spent years being the person who held it together no matter what was happening around me.

As a nurse, that was practically a job requirement. You learn early how to stay cool while everything around you is falling into chaos. You can kee...

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You’re Not Exhausted. You’re Complicit. (So Was I.)

I remember the moment it all clicked.

The architecture of my burnout suddenly became visible. It was a system that had been hollowing me out for decades, without my knowledge or consent.

For me, this moment came during perimenopause.

The...

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Start Here: Read This First

There’s a version of you that everyone sees.

She’s capable. She’s dependable. She shows up, follows through, and holds it all together. People lean on her. She lets them. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

And yet, somewhere underneath a...

3 months ago
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  • D’Layne Benson

    Author of Smiling But Spiraling, weekly notes for women who are resentful, exhausted, and tired of being everything to everyone. I’m a registered nurse obsessed with dismantling over-functioning and getting you out of survival mode.

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