Swear to God
Molly SimmsI'm enthusiastic
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 13 | Founded | 5 years ago | Last Issue | 5 years ago |
| Active | |||||
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sweartogod.substack.comLatest Issues
Quitting Time
Every workday, I wake up and make my stupid drink. I grab this giant tumbler and add two scoops of collagen powder. Then I shake a little Crystal Light in there, because it tastes like my suburban childhood and I deserve to self-soothe via...
Feeling Loopy
I repeat one of my “on the tape” diatribes so often that whenever I start, I swear I can see a tiny piece of my boyfriend’s soul desiccating and floating up to Boyfriend Heaven.
See, I’ve got this phone case I’m really enthusiastic about...
I felt impotent and out of control
“When did we start being this anxious?” my friend asked me, holding a giant mug of coffee in her kitchen, looking baffled.
We’d spent the previous 10 minutes laying out our routines for beating back the generalized dread that hovers over...
Ring My Bell
My college, much like a small plates farm-to-table restaurant, “did things a little differently.” We had no sports teams to speak of and instead of keg parties, I went to feminist stand-up comedy shows and starred in multiple student films—...
While You Were Sleeping
Some of us are blessed with the talent of being good sleepers—people who nap on the subway or kind of slump over when the plane takes off, and wake up in Rome or whatever. I’m not one of them.
My sleep would probably get like a C+ in scho...
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a real laugh riot (previously: editor at @oprahmagazine, @EW, @bust_magazine, @kirkusreviews)
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