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Tess's Substack

Tess Coward

My personal Substack

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesDaily
Issues8Founded7 months agoLast Issue4 months ago
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Latest Issues

How Hot You Are Based on Your Response to the Question “Do You Like Musical Theatre?”

“I like Hamilton!” 3/5 Stars

Hey, we all start somewhere! Like many, you entered into the theatrical atmosphere when it became a major part of the cultural zeitgeist, and we’re happy to have you! Whether you found Hamilton on your own, or...

4 months ago

2026 Predictions

  • Sydney Sweeney on Dancing With the Stars

    • They do surgery on a grape, again

    • Timothee Chalamet dates Kim Kardashian

    • Dubai Chocolate gets recalled

    • Kenan Thompson leaves SNL

    • Taylor Swift gets married

    *...

4 months ago

Dear Taylor Swift...

Dear Taylor Swift,

I am reaching out to you to inform you of the burden you have placed on my life. I am constantly ridiculed, harassed, judged and dismissed because of my undying devotion to you and your music. I have been a devout fan si...

6 months ago

Why I Hate Justin Timberlake

People keep asking me what my beef is with Justin Timberlake—here’s the truth:

The year is 1723. We lived in a tiny cobblestoned village in France. Jacques Timbert was a lute player with oily, coiffed hair and an ego that went unmatched un...

6 months ago

Group Chat Archetypes

Not to boast, but I’m currently a member of over three consistently active group chats. Every group chat has a unique dynamic, and it’s rarely transferable to in-person interactions. No one person plays the same role in every group chat; th...

6 months ago

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  • Tess Coward

    Hi, I’m Tess! I live in NYC and writing has always been my way of putting on a show (ever since I realized singing and dancing weren’t in the cards).

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