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borowitzreport.comLatest Issues
Nation Shocked That Darline Graham Not Stupidest Senator on Judiciary Committee
C-SPAN
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans were still in a state of shock on Wednesday after discovering that Lindsey Graham’s sister Darline was not the stupidest member of the Senate Judiciary Committee.
Although Grah...
Eric Schmitt Confuses Ass with Hole in the Ground
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an embarrassing attempt at a “gotcha” moment in Tuesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearings, Senator Eric Schmitt (R-Missouri) appeared to confuse his ass with a hole in t...
Russian Who Funded Don Jr’s Wedding Also Funding His Divorce
Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—The Russian oligarch who paid for Donald J. Trump Jr.’s recent wedding revealed on Tuesday that he would also bankroll the newlywed’s divorce.
“I wish Don Jr. the best in his new...
Trump Bans Numbers 2 and 9 After Approval Rating Hits 29
Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unprecedented attack on two prominent integers, on Monday Donald J. Trump banned the numerals 2 and 9 after his approval rating dropped to 29.
“Two and nine ha...
Baby Songs Updated for the Trump Administration
TBR Sunday Read
When the President of the United States is a baby, that requires new baby songs. Consider these updated lullabies:
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Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
I'm a writer, comedian, and creator of The Borowitz Report, a news satire site published since 2001.
read my new book OBEY IN ADVANCE written with Carlos Greaves. Also doing stand up, links to everything here: https://linktr.ee/ginnyhogan
New Yorker Cartoonist. Author. Winner of the 2025 Thurber Award for American Humor in Cartoon Arts.
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