VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—In a stunning break with centuries of Catholic doctrine, on Wednesday Pope Leo XIV announced that the Church would relax its prohibition against...

4 days ago

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Hegseth Freaks Out After Testing Positive for Estrogen

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly “exploded with rage” on Tuesday after a blood test he had required for all service members over 30 showed that he had “extremely high”...

5 days ago

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Unconscious Mitch McConnell Scores Higher Approval Rating Than Conscious Version

Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unprecedented political comeback, the entirely unconscious Mitch McConnell has garnered a vastly higher approval rating than the conscious version, a new poll revealed on Mo...

6 days ago

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The Logic Behind Trump's Saudi Nuclear Deal, Applied to Other Situations

TBR Sunday Read

With the Iran War reignited, Donald Trump has turned his attention from denuclearizing Iran towards nuclearizing Saudi Arabia. On Wednesday, he struck a deal that will allow the Saudis to develop their own civilian nuclear...

7 days ago

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Authors

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Andy Borowitz

I'm a writer, comedian, and creator of The Borowitz Report, a news satire site published since 2001.

Ginny Hogan

Writer/stand up/person. Please pre-order my new book OBEY IN ADVANCE: https://store.mcsweeneys.net/products/obey-in-advance-how-to-survive-and-thrive-under-authoritarianism?taxon_id=1

Carlos Greaves

Former electrical engineer turned professional comedy writer fighting the power joyfully. If you're as angry about the state of the world as I am, come have a laugh with me.

Felipe

From a country you misspell. Author of “America, Let Me In: A Choose Your Immigration Story.” WGA and Peabody Award-winning writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

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