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The Crank

The Crank combines caustic cultural analysis with a penchant for plastic hair every Monday

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Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues51Founded9 months agoLast Issue7 days ago
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Latest Issues

How the Nintendo DS made the gamer girl

The Crank combines cultural criticism with fake hair. It updates every Monday.

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You can say a lot about the DS – you can praise its catalogue of games, its meteoric sales, or its new features. But what I find most int...

7 days ago
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Charli xcx's new single is too smart for its own good

The Crank combines caustic cultural analysis with fake hair. It updates every Monday.

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There comes a time in every creative’s career when they revisit an old idea. Anxious to relive the successes of the past, they come...

14 days ago
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Crank Calls #2: shucking oysters with Ruth Bader-Ginsburg

Welcome back to Crank Calls, the state-mandated monthly tribunal where my subscribers write in their problems and I prioritise sloppy soundbites that will do well on Substack Notes over helping them in any meaningful way.

Last week marks...

17 days ago
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How the Devil bought Prada

The Crank combines caustic cultural analysis and fake hair. It updates every Monday.

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The Devil Wears Prada is a tight, stylish film about work. Antagonistic though she may be, Miranda Priestly is ultimately a sympath...

21 days ago
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Katseye are the slop we deserve

The Crank updates every Monday with more caustic cultural analysis and fake hair.

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“McDonald’s sells a lot of burgers but no one is telling McDonald’s they are the pinnacle of cuisine and taste. This is true of you.”...

a month ago
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  • The Crank

    When the world turns to unhelpful slop, turn to The Crank - the only niche online publication that combines fake hair with caustic cultural analysis. Originality is dead - and you need a washed-up drag hag to tell you exactly how to think.

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