The Crank
The CrankThe Crank combines the caustic cultural analysis of an embittered know-it-all with a penchant for plastic hair
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 44 | Subscribers | Read | thecrank.substack.com |
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Latest Issues
Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.
Crank Calls #1: situationship or hostage situation?
Welcome to the premiere of Crank Calls, my new column where I fillet your personal lives into content because I have realised I’m not interesting enough on my own to carry this publication. Thank you for joining me at this new depth of bott...
The bimbofication of evil: a Noem family production
For more caustic cultural analysis and fake hair, The Crank updates every Monday.
Calling all Crankheads: what is your problem?
The mainstream media’s worst fears have come true. After 41 articles, 3 viral moments, and only 5 libel cases, The Crank has garnered its 1000th subscriber. I will not re-tread the soppiness of my 500-subscriber celebration, but I will say ...
You want the diva? You can't handle the diva
Chappell Roan’s war with the nation of Brazil should not have happened. Its inciting incident, an overzealous security guard asking a girl to leave the star alone at a breakfast buffet, should have been inconsequential. However, it flared u...
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Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
When the world turns to unhelpful slop, turn to The Crank - the only niche online publication that combines fake hair with caustic cultural analysis. Originality is dead - and you need a washed-up drag hag to tell you exactly how to think.
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