The Crumpet
The CrumpetSatire highlighting the funny, absurd and surreal sides of modern Britain. Still more accurate than the BBC.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Twice weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 22 | Subscribers | Read | thecrumpet.co.uk |
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Latest Issues
Recent posts by this newsletter. Browse the email archive.
Man Tragically Dies After Unexpected Encounter With Knife
A man has tragically ceased living following what police are describing as “a complex interaction involving a knife” in West London on Tuesday evening.
Grooming Gang Inquiry Finds Nothing To See Here, Please Move Along
After months of research, testimony, and what one civil servant described as “a heroic amount of selective reading,” the long-awaited government inquiry into grooming gangs has concluded there is, in fact, absolutely nothing to see here.
Starmer Vows to Protect Jewish Community by Surrounding Them with People Who Want Them Dead
LONDON — Sir Keir Starmer has doubled down on his pledge to “do absolutely everything” to protect Britain’s Jewish community, clarifying that this will include dramatically increasing the number of people in the country from regions where a...
UK Government Formally Replaced By Panel Of Lawyers, Who Were Already Running It Anyway
LONDON - In a development that experts described as “merely formalising what’s been obvious for 25 years,” the UK Government has officially stepped aside to allow a permanent panel of lawyers to run the country directly.
Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
Britain's most trustworthy source for unreliable news.
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