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The Goolag

Johnny Dollar

Newsology you can't trust.

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PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues134Founded4 years agoLast Issue23 days ago
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Latest Issues

Road Rage Incident At Bumper Car Ride

A confrontation between bumper car participants on the boardwalk at the ACME Amazement ride is being treated as a possible act of road rage.

Speaking to the press, Police Chief Sarah Theyherthemit explained the incident. “At approximately...

23 days ago
4
1

Carney Unveils The Most Canada Strong Projects Ever.

Standing perched on a podium Prime Minister Carney announced bold new projects as past of his Canada Strong initiative.

The projects include:

  • A new bridge. Specifics of where this bridge would be built were not provided. Nor did any...
2 months ago
3

Trump Eyes Rome, Offers Carney Governorship

President Donald Trump in a recent attempt to extend an olive branch to Prime Minister Mark Carney has recently made overtures about ‘invading Rome like my ancestors did.’

Sitting at his desk in the Oval Office the President explained “Why...

5 months ago
4

Somali daycares swamped by liberal women inquiring about spots for their children.

It’s been a difficult two weeks for Judy Samuelsson. After calling 12 Somali daycares in Minneapolis she finally got a spot for her child.

One month has passed and she’s never been more pleased. “Best. Daycare. Ever. Better than any white...

5 months ago
7

To combat high food costs, Carney introduces his 'One piece of fruit per person' policy.

PM Mark Carney, who’s auditioning to become Commissioner of Middle Earth, announced today his plan to combat the rising cost of food that’s been a political thorn in two successive governments.

“When people can’t buy lemons we have to hav...

5 months ago
7
1

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  • Johnny Dollar

    Insurance investigator turned satire writer.

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