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The Minimizer

Julieanne Smolinski
Hundreds of paid subscribers

Detailed instructions for building a waterslide in your back yard.

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Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesWeekly
Issues22Founded6 years agoLast Issue19 days ago
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Latest Issues

And you may find yourself GAAAAAGHHHHH

Quick warning about today’s post—this concerns childbirth and parenting and other baby/kid stuff. It might get a little dark! If that’s not for you, or you’re that 50-something blonde woman who shushed my six-year-old for laughing too loud...

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Passive Aggressive Notes Dot Com

when the universe tells you to 'log off'

When we adopted our second dog, an adorable little dimwit my kids named “Pizza,” the rescue organization released him to us on the condition we’d immediately get him neutered at the clinic of their...

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Family Happiness (and Other Stories)

did the people we married use to have FUN WITHOUT US!??!?!?

Shortly after my husband and I had our first child, I notice that he’d been playing the same song on repeat. Almost every day, he’d amble around the shabby, 100-year-old house we’...

2 months ago
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Hollywood's Stupidest Resident on Hollywood's Biggest Night

I think whether we’re all allowed to be excited about the Academy Awards is predicated on a number of X factors: like, say, the ambient political climate, or if the Best Picture front-runner is largely acknowledged to be “actually kind of b...

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Irish Triplets

or, 'the time i got pregnant after six weeks of dating a guy'

From about February until June of every year, something odd happens to me: strangers become unusually excited about my sex life.

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  • Julieanne Smolinski

    LA-based mother of 70

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