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The Paragraph Stacker

Daniel P. Finney
Hundreds of paid subscribers

Uncensored columns from an exiled newspaper man.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesDaily
Issues653Founded3 years agoLast Issue5 days ago
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Latest Issues

FINNEY’S 5: What Ed Wilson should be saying about Iowa’s heat wave

  1. “If this keeps up, older Iowans won’t have to retire to Florida.”

  2. “KIOA announced it will not play ‘Heat Wave’ and ‘Summer in the City’ until further notice.”

  3. “Now would be a great time to bring back the ALS Ice Bucket Challe...

5 days ago
12
1

FINNEY’S 5: Things Ariana Grande will be doing on her break from public life

  1. Pursue her dream of winning the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament.

  2. Trying to add a knuckle-curve to her pitch repertoire.

  3. Subscribing to Finney’s 5 to stay up to date on the latest dumb jokes and non sequiturs.

  4. Study...

6 days ago
5
7

FINNEY’S 5: Why Tuesdays suck

  1. Too far away from last weekend to bask in the memories and too far away from next weekend to feel relief.

  2. They call Mardi Gras “Fat Tuesday,” which shames the obese.

  3. There’s no sex in Tuesday Weld’s 1960 comedy “Sex Kittens G...

7 days ago
9
1

FINNEY’S 5: Shocking reactions to upcoming movie trailers

1. By Any Means: A mafia hit man helps the FBI find the killers of civil rights workers, played by Mark Wahlberg, because studio executives think people still want to see that guy.

2. Tom and Jerry: The Forbidden Compass: Working title a...

8 days ago
7
1

‘Strong enough to be gentle’

One of the great voices of Generation X’s childhood fell silent Aug. 26 when Peter Cullen died at age 85.

Cullen was a prolific voice actor whose earliest credit was as an announcer on “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” in 1967.

But for...

8 days ago
10
4

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Authors

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  • Daniel P. Finney

    DANIEL P. FINNEY teaches middle school English. He stacked paragraphs in piles, short and tall, during a 27-year newspaper career.

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