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The Paragraph Stacker

Daniel P. Finney
Hundreds of paid subscribers

Uncensored columns from an exiled newspaper man.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesDaily
Issues599Founded2 years agoLast Issue5 days ago
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Latest Issues

FINNEY’S 5: Supergirl plans after her movie’s $125-million flop

  1. Sign with a WNBA team so she can take out her frustrations by fouling the hell out of Caitlin Clark with impunity.

  2. Start a podcast about toxic male fandom being the Kryptonite of female-led superhero movies — that always helps....

5 days ago
5
3

FINNEY’S 5: Signs WNBA officials are trying to kill Caitlin Clark

  1. The crane kick from The Karate Kid ruled incidental contact when defending Clark.

  2. Ronda Rousey hired to teach her patented arm bar to WNBA defenders.

  3. If Chuck Norris did it in a movie, players can do it to Clark on the court....

6 days ago
7

I'm getting older, but still an 'active variable'

I turned 51 on June 26. Middle age birthdays bring some melancholy. That’s natural.

I once investigated insurance actuarial tables for my lifespan, factoring in health conditions, work stress, and lifestyle.

The number of years the tables...

9 days ago
14
2

FINNEY’S 5: How Mel Brooks is celebrating his 100th birthday

  1. Mel fondly recalls the first line of comedic dialogue he ever wrote: “Let there be light!” It brought the house down.

  2. Randomly calls a whiny humor columnist complaining about turning 51: “I’ve got polyps older than you, ya mashugan...

10 days ago
10
2

A birthday update on our fundraising campaign

Today I turn 51.

As birthdays go, I can’t think of a better gift than continuing to build this community of readers.

The fundraiser continues to move ahead at an encouraging pace. Thanks to your generosity, we’ve raised about $512 after f...

11 days ago
1

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  • Daniel P. Finney

    DANIEL P. FINNEY teaches middle school English. He stacked paragraphs in piles, short and tall, during a 27-year newspaper career.

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