Uncensored columns from an exiled newspaper man.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Daily |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 634 | Founded | 3 years ago | Last Issue | 4 hours ago |
| Active | |||||
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paragraphstacker.substack.comLatest Issues
FINNEY’S 5: Real reasons why Rod Stewart cancelled Iowa State Fair concert
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Studies show cardiac patients’ risk of death rises 714% just smelling fair food.
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Wish to stay forever young not granted.
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Stole his daddy’s cue to make a living playing pool.
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An English gentleman does not park on a dirt...
FINNEY’S 5: Highly effective revenge tactics
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Spread rumors on social media that their favorite band broke up.
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When their favorite team is playing at home, shout, “Go visitors!”
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Whenever they speak to you, regardless of what they say, reply, “Yep!!!”
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Use their emai...
FINNEY’S 5: Modern reasons Banner turns into the Hulk
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Only saved 8% when switching to GEICO.
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U.S. is bombing Iran while members of Congress write letters to WNBA commissioner about hard fouls on Caitlin Clark.
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ChatGPT refused to make Banner a cartoony self-portrait because his f...
FINNEY’S 5: How to tell the difference between boneless wings and chicken nuggets
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Boneless wings such a classy name they cost 133% more than plebeian chicken nuggets.
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Chicken nuggets closer to God because they’re served at Chick-fil-A — except on Sundays. Boneless wings at godless sports bars — especially on NFL...
The championship I didn't know I needed
Artwork created by ChatGPT using photo by Cliff Jette for the Indiaola Indepednet Advocate.
Thank you, you Indianola boys of summer.
You stretched the summer as long as you could to the final game of the season and ended the way only four...
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Authors
The writers behind this newsletter.
DANIEL P. FINNEY teaches middle school English. He stacked paragraphs in piles, short and tall, during a 27-year newspaper career.
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