Utterly Vapid
One thing about me is I only have opinions when the moon is in retrograde or whatever.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Freemium | Publishes | Twice weekly |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 184 | Founded | 4 years ago | Last Issue | 3 days ago |
| Active | |||||
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utterlyvapid.substack.comLatest Issues
Bass Persuades (single) is a Katy Perry song
Bass Persuades - Miley (2026)
Miley Cyrus…this is awful.
I cannot emphasise enough how deeply unhappy it makes me to say that Miley Cyrus is one again in a “bad” album cycle. Or at least, is pushing a new, terrible single in preparation...
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, a review
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026)
It should be acknowledged that I am not the target audience for a film like Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026) for a variety of reasons. It is just not for me and the film is not a failu...
How do you win Love Island?
I know it’s a while back now, but do you remember Episode Two from this season of Love Island USA? In it, then-couple Trinity and Bryce both chose to explore their options by spending the night with bombshells Gabriel and Kayda…with another...
The pearl ring in The Invite (2026)
The Invite (2026).
I cannot stop thinking about the pearl ring Angela (Olivia Wilde) wears in The Invite (2026).
A comedy of manners about two couples circling each other across an evening of fantasies being shattered by reality. Joe (Se...
A*POP, a review
A*POP (2026)
Being a pop star is hard. It requires effort and forces an agonising balance between the aspirational and the relatable that many find unsustainable. You have to not just capture the attention of the public, but maintain their...
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Do not let me sit in an empty room / When a figure might add a shadow
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