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xGuff (Expected Guff)

Thomas Aston

Useless sports data.

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Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues14Foundeda year agoLast Issue6 months ago
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Latest Issues

The impossible task of rating footballers

With Christmas right around the corner, there will be masses of parents, partners, friends, and well-meaning relatives facing the great modern dilemma:

Do I buy them EA Sports FC*, or Football Manager?

*the artist formerly known as FIFA...

6 months ago
39
4

You probably aren't the next Jamie Vardy

This was supposed to be something light-hearted about how careers in some sports last much longer than others. Then I started writing and it all went a bit miserable when I realised what age I am.

The next article will probably go back to...

6 months ago
5
1

Football fans are drowning in data, starved of wisdom

What is the football data pyramid?

Since starting this newsletter, I’ve been circling around something I’ve wanted to write for ages about the complex relationship football fans have with data, and why this has led me to publishing a se...

7 months ago
66
17

👨🏻‍💼💬📈 Expected Clichés, Matchweeks 5-8

This article is part of the Expected Clichés series, where I’ll be statistically analysing the use of classic British football phrases in Premier League managers’ press conferences during the 2025/26 season.

If you’re wondering why t...

8 months ago
2

Scottish football doesn't deserve its fans

1. Scotland loves football (and the SPFL is fake news).

With another predictably depressing international break looming, it’s easy to despair about Scottish football.

The men’s team haven’t reached a World Cup since 1998. The long st...

8 months ago
6

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