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Cartridge Media

Amity G.

News that blows.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues7Founded2 years agoLast Issuea year ago
Active

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Latest Issues

You Are An Umamusume

Screenshot: Cygames

It is the first day in a new year, and you are an Umamusume.

Born to run. The spirit of a champion racehorse rests within you. You are a member of the elite Tracen Academy. It is here you sharpen your mind and your bod...

a year ago
2
1

pChal Spends 8 Hours Calculating Optimal Route Through Grocery Store

RUSTBORO, HOENN REGION - Self-proclaimed world’s best Nuzlocker pChal caused a stir at the Pokémart today as he attempted to calculate the safest route through the store.

“As a child, I couldn’t navigate a grocery store,” pChal explained....

a year ago

Hylian Boy Arrested for Slandering Demon King

CASTLE TOWN, HYRULE - A young Hylian boy was arrested by palace guards earlier today, after making a series of slanderous statements against Demon King Ganondorf.

“Let this be a message to all subjects,” the King of Hyrule declared in a pu...

a year ago
1

Meta Announces Retirement of Original AI Bot: Mark Zuckerberg

MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA - Meta announced today that it would be retiring Mark Zuckerberg, its original AI Bot.

“We’ve come a long way in spreading misinformation,” announced Chief Technology Officer Fabri Cater. “Yet with the dawn of the ne...

a year ago
1

Manfred von Karma Confident in Securing Death Penalty Against Luigi Mangione

NEW YORK, JAPAN - The lead prosecutor in United States of America v. Luigi Mangione today released a scathing declaration ahead of the suspected assassin’s trial.

“A prediction!” Manfred von Karma, a veteran prosecutor of forty-years, decl...

a year ago
1

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  • Amity G.

    I write serious political articles and satirical video game articles. One is more important than the other.

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