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All the Hollywood news you need, straight from the bushes. Keep up with all the unemployed entertainers and the 2-3 working stars in the no longer moving and barely shaking industry. New scoops every day.

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Latest Issues

Louis C.K. Required to Have His Hands Visible at all Times During New Netflix Special

By: Brett Skalicky

From a bush outside of the Netflix headquarters in Los Angeles, I can now confirm that Louis C.K. will be required to have his hands visible at all times during the taping of his newest stand-up comedy special. I caught...

a month ago
3

Geese Defecates at Coachella

By: Nick Coffman

Thanks for reading HOLLYWOOD TIME$! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.


2 months ago
1

Inexperienced Josh D’Amaro Cuts 1,000 Disney Employees with Pair of Scissors

By: Nick Coffman

From a bush outside of Disney HQ, I can now confirm that baby CEO, Josh D’Amaro, cut 1,000 Disney employees this morning, with a pair of scissors. The Disney PR team rushed to clear up any confusion created by D’Amaro’s al...

2 months ago

Downtrodden J.J. Abrams Moves back to Hometown to Run Family Production Company

By: Nick Coffman

From a bush somewhere in New York City, I can now confirm that famed filmmaker, J.J. Abrams, has moved back into his childhood manor after being hit by a stretch of bad luck in Los Angeles. We took a tour of the manor with...

2 months ago
1

Homelander Declines Invitation to Join ICE

By: Kate Danvers

From a bush outside of Vought Tower, I can now confirm that the exclusive club of pardoned rioters, white supremacists, and has-been actors known collectively as ICE, won’t be counting America’s greatest hero among their r...

2 months ago
1

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  • Bush Bill

    Getting you all the Hollywood news you need to know, right from the bushes

  • Matt Fresh

    Sometimes I'm silly and other times I'm very silly

  • Laura Berlinsky-Schine

    Laura Berlinsky-Schine is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn with her rescue dog/demigod, Hercules. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney’s, The Rumpus, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and The Belladonna. Read more at www.lauraberlinskyschine.com.

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