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Brad Davenport

I write about the absurd parts of being alive, like how my houseplants have formed a government, or why my watch congratulates me for standing up. Just observations that hopefully make you smile.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues107Foundeda year agoLast Issue11 days ago
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Latest Issues

The Toilet Down The Yard

You knew you just had to go about an hour before you were prepared to force yourself to go, because it meant going outside.

The toilet wasn’t in the house. It was down the yard, past the coal bunker.

A separate little brick building with...

11 days ago
30
27

A Switch, Always A Little Red Light Next To It

There was a switch in every house of a certain age, usually tucked away inside the airing cupboard, and one strict rule went with it.

In fact, once or twice a week, it became the entire focal point of the adults in the house.

The immersio...

22 days ago
35
29

In Defence Of The Semolina

The dinner ladies must have had a system, but we never had a clue what it was. Every kid was supposed to get an equal amount, but I always felt the kids in front of me got bigger portions.

Maybe she was running out and couldn’t be bothered...

a month ago
23
20

Donkey Stoning The Front Step Every Thursday

My grandma donkey-stoned that front step and the front window sills every single week.

Down on her knees for the front step, with a bit of stone from the rag and bone man, getting a dead straight white line right along the top edge and sid...

2 months ago
37
31

Grandma Ran That House Like A Woman With A Train To Catch

Three of us had to finish bath time before our dads got home.

My grandma had it down pat like an old fashioned time and motion study.

I was four. My cousin, one year behind me, and my brother, bringing up the rear as usual, was one at the...

2 months ago
41
19

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  • Brad Davenport

    Chronicling the daily glitches of being human. > From waving at strangers who weren't looking at me to remembering 90s jingles but forgetting my own age. Proof that you aren’t the only one who has no idea what they’re doing in this room.

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