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Unfiltered Clarity

Gino Cosme

Weekly essays for gay men who are done performing and want to understand themselves more honestly.

Platform
Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesWeekly
Issues99Founded4 years agoLast Issue7 days ago
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Latest Issues

The Gay Man the Algorithm Ignores

He showed me his Instagram Explore page during a session. Every square was the same man. Different faces, same man. Mid-twenties. Chiselled jawline and well-lit shirtless torso. Caption on one of the images was about “living my truth.” The...

7 days ago
31
16

Gay Men Are Allowed to Be Boring

Most evenings my husband and I sit and talk about something we watched, where we’d go on our next vacation, or how China is eating the electric car industry.

We don’t go to rooftop parties overlooking the city skyline. We aren’t members of...

14 days ago
39
29

You Tell Me Things Your Husband Doesn’t Know

A man in Melbourne emailed me the other day. He had read my essay on hypervigilance and wanted to tell me that he had spent eleven years married to someone who still didn’t know that he cried in the shower. He said he doesn’t make noise whe...

24 days ago
22
4

Why Gay Men Are Editing Themselves Again

Three months in, I caught myself saying “partner” on a work call with a client I had known for over a year. He had said “my wife” earlier in the conversation. I had said “husband” to him many times before. This time I said “partner.” I noti...

a month ago
27
11

The Father You Never Knew How to Grieve

Three minutes, maybe four. The dog was fine. The brother had got a promotion. He said the right things back, hung up, and sat on the edge of the bed for a long time.

He didn’t know why he was crying.

He told me about it the next week. A m...

a month ago
24
13

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  • Gino Cosme

    Gay therapist and coach at Psycosme.com. I write the stuff gay men live but rarely name.

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