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Like a Normal Person

Julie Fontes

Weekly doses of human discourse on modern love and addiction. A newsletter for people who believe death only comes when we stop laughing at ourselves.

Platform
Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesWeekly
Issues236Founded3 years agoLast Issue5 days ago
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Latest Issues

Why am I Humping these Yoga Blocks?

“My eldest daughter was like me, not just in likeness but in disposition, too: she held her intelligence like a knife behind her back. Now that she was creeping toward womanhood, I found our similarities a bit unnerving. Like watching a c...

5 days ago
5
4

Get Married or Die

If one were to guess the trajectory of a woman’s life by literary classics, there is nothing for her to do but die tragically or be married off.

Since I have yet to do either, I’m proud to announce that my favorite thing about living throu...

11 days ago
18
21

When We Were Very Young

July 30

ACV Airport

We will never be as young as we are today.

She says, “Sorry my back is sweaty,” as we squeeze each other. As though I would be mad about it. As though I would be waiting in line at TSA cursing the sweat she left on my...

18 days ago
15
14

Hype Me up to Quit My Job

Another Day in Paradise Part 2

It has taken a year and a half for Paul to stop treating me like it’s my first day. Like my dad, this guy eats, breathes, and sleeps his restaurant.

25 days ago
7
5
Paid

Before She Leaves

Weird and dramatic floral arrangement from the Garden

Karli comes in the house to use the bathroom while I’m recording audio for my newsletter, and I tell her, “I can’t wait for you to leave.”

I have made the decision to save being sad fo...

a month ago
11
6

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  • Julie Fontes

    Author of “Like a Normal Person: A Memoir About Not Drinking.” Lover of synchronized dance routines and hot soup on a cold day. Expert at repeating mistakes. I write embarrassing things, and I love you.\ud83d\ude18

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