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Like a Normal Person

Julie Fontes

Weekly doses of human discourse on modern love and addiction. A newsletter for people who believe death only comes when we stop laughing at ourselves.

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues231Founded3 years agoLast Issue19 hours ago
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juliefontes.substack.com
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Latest Issues

Fawning for Tips

“What qualifies you to write on your subject?” It is my turn to have Sarah Fay’s attention on my newsletter. I’m in a Zoom meeting learning how to be better at directing my Substack toward my goals.

At the exact moment she asks, I’m trying...

19 hours ago
4
2

Being Sober Doesn’t Qualify You as a Guru

In the summer of 2022, after decades of honing the practice of drinking ‘like a normal person,’ I threw in the towel. I had my last boozy ride on the ferris wheel (literally) and changed the trajectory of my life forever. The following wint...

7 days ago
19
2

How to Collect Beer Cans for your Yard so Your Kid Will Leave

Before she was born, I prepared the tiny room. I painted it lavender and hung cozy polka-dot and striped onesies and pajamas. There was no crib. She would sleep with us. The changing table was next to the window, bottom shelves lined with t...

14 days ago
17
7

Another Day in Paradise (part 1)

1. Valley Restaurant.

They change the plating on the chicken so that it has coconut rice in the bottom of a clay bowl. The thing is that when Chef brings out a display sample it ends up in front of me, and I eat the whole thing for family...

21 days ago
10

Somewhere to Put It

I think it’s Baylee’s fault I started liking dogs. I didn’t want to. It felt counter to my entire personality to look at a Pomeranian in a stroller and think of it as someone’s adorable baby rather than a crotch-sniffing yapper. I proudly i...

a month ago
19
1

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  • Julie Fontes

    Author of “Like a Normal Person: A Memoir About Not Drinking.” Lover of synchronized dance routines and hot soup on a cold day. Expert at repeating mistakes. I write embarrassing things, and I love you.\ud83d\ude18

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