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This Was Funny at 2 a.m.

Michelle Milliken

Humor newsletter written in the middle of night, published at a reasonable hour to appear professional

Platform
Substack
PricingOnly free issuesPublishesWeekly
Issues62Foundeda year agoLast Issue3 days ago
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michellemilliken.substack.com
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Latest Issues

Waiting for Love During a Smoky Heat Dome

He is so cute, she said to herself about the man sitting on his hazy balcony, emitting a hacking cough that surprisingly didn’t yield an internal organ or two.

Or at least that’s what it looked like he was doing. The air quality level was...

3 days ago

My Neighbor is Either Hades or a Caveman Discovering Fire

My apartment has a variety of amenities: A washing machine that’s ready to go into orbit at a moment’s notice, one kitchen outlet that lives on in memory of its fallen brethren, duets between the neighboring fire station and coyotes, and a...

11 days ago
18
15

My Car Hates Bird Butts and He Cannot Lie

Quoth the Raven, “Give me more.”

I mean, I don’t speak corvid and I’m pretty sure it was actually a crow, but that was clearly what he was saying as he hopped around menacingly on the rear of my car, wondering where the sweet potatoes had...

18 days ago
12
7

I, For One, Am Ready to Be a Cave Dweller

The internet defines a cave dweller in so many ways that it seems to apply to everyone. Urban Dictionary says a cave dweller is a person who doesn’t get out much or at all, so that applies, at the very least, to anyone reading this because...

24 days ago
17
11

I Accidentally Seduced a Costco Member

You can tell a lot about someone based on their Costco receipt, especially when they’ve written their number on it and given it to you, after you accidentally seduced them in the refrigerated goods section.

In hindsight, it makes sense tha...

a month ago
39
33

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  • Michelle Milliken

    I do most of my Substack writing at 2 a.m., which explains the quality. I like to run, hike, read, be an annoyingly positive sports fan, and share nature facts no one asked for. Weekly humor publication and weekly silly sports publication.

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