Notes On Not Screaming
Dena HarrisHumor is how I make sense of daily life and survive adulthood without resorting to thumb-sucking in public.
| Platform |  | Pricing | Only free issues | Publishes | Daily |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Issues | 12 | Founded | 2 months ago | Last Issue | 9 days ago |
| Active | |||||
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notesonnotscreaming.substack.comLatest Issues
Give Me a Number
close-up of someone's hand filling out a pain questionnaire, with a pen hovering over a row of numbers from 1–10.
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you in today?” I ask Mom.
“Ten,” she replies.
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how much is...
No, Mom, You Can't Have Botox
Last year, for my birthday, my mother kept dropping hints about a gift. She was vibrating with excitement, insisting she’d come up with the perfect thing—something we could do together.
When we had her over for dinner, she sat at the kitch...
11 Things No One Warned Me About Becoming My Mother’s Caregiver
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
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That “I’m fine” can mean anything from “I’m perfectly fine” to “I’ve been lying on the floor since Tuesday.”
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How much time I would spend trying to preserve her independence while simultaneousl...
Clean Up on Aisle Four, Bitch
Photo by Vagaro on Unsplash
I’m not a spa-day person. Pedicures and massages rank only slightly above dental appointments on my list of preferred ways to spend an afternoon. But every so often, I have a brief, misguided “Because I’m worth...
She Can Barely Get Into My Car, but Sure, Let’s Try a Treadmill
Photo by Alex Tyson on Unsplash
“Mrs. D—— told me there’s a treadmill on the second floor,” my mother announces as she lowers herself into my car.
We are going to lunch. She pauses to catch her breath, then reaches for the seat belt.
“It...
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Authors
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Dena Harris is a humor writer making sense of adulthood, caregiving, relationships, dogs, and other situations for which there should have been training.
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