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The Drunken Bull

Jeff Siegel

Where every trade seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesTwice weekly
Issues64Founded3 years agoLast Issuea month ago
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Latest Issues

Trump's Tariffs Accidentally Complete China's Five-Year Plan Ahead of Schedule

In a stunning display of 4D chess visible only to people wearing red hats indoors, President Donald Trump’s latest tariffs have apparently succeeded in making China’s manufacturing sector stronger, faster, and significantly more annoying....

a month ago
1

Ice Cube Takes Big3 Public, Says It Was Either This Or Let Deebo Run Investor Relations

After decades of reshaping hip-hop, movies, and basketball, Ice Cube announced he is taking the BIG3 basketball league public, allowing everyday investors to finally experience what happens when Wall Street discovers three-on-three basketba...

a month ago
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President Hails Inflation Report, Americans Begin Financing Sandwiches

Following a government report showing inflation surged to 4.2% in May, its highest level in three years, President Donald Trump reassured Americans that there was absolutely nothing to worry about because he “loves the inflation.”

“The num...

2 months ago

Bitcoin Investors Shocked To Learn Asset Named After Imaginary Internet Money Can Go Down

Chaos erupted across the cryptocurrency world this week after Bitcoin fell below $70,000, leaving investors stunned to discover that an asset with a long history of catastrophic crashes can occasionally experience catastrophic crashes.

“I...

2 months ago
1

Victoria’s Secret Rebrands Stock Symbol To Make Sure Everyone Gets It

After what executives described as a months-long strategic review involving consultants, focus groups, and at least one emergency meeting devoted entirely to the concept of being sexy, Victoria’s Secret announced Thursday that it will chang...

2 months ago

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