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Insights on Abuse & Recovery

Shadows of Control, Kelsey Decker
Hundreds of paid subscribers

Shining light on coercive control and domestic abuse, offering clarity, compassion, and community for survivors.

Platform
Substack
PricingFreemiumPublishesTwice weekly
Issues213Founded3 years agoLast Issue4 days ago
Active

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Artwork for Insights on Abuse & Recovery

Latest Issues

How Abusers Weaponise Your Past Trauma

Before I married my now ex-husband, I had spent 10 years in a cult. The experience affected me deeply, and for years I blamed myself. I kept asking how I could have allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled.

I then entered a relation...

4 days ago
28
2

Survivor Insights: When You Are Left to Carry Every Responsibility Alone

When your abusive partner does nothing, expects everything, and still finds fault

The Survivor Insights series brings you the voices of survivors themselves. These words come from people who have shared their experiences across my social m...

7 days ago
12
Paid

20 Ways to Overcome Self-Blame After Domestic Abuse

Self-blame can become one of the most lasting effects of domestic abuse. An abuser may spend months or years claiming that you caused every argument or forced their cruel reactions. They may tell you that you deserved the harm they caused....

11 days ago
28
9

The Letter I Wrote to My Abusive Husband Before I Knew It Was Abuse

What coercive control looks like when you can see the behaviours but not yet recognise the pattern

Years before I understood that my husband was abusive, and six years before I eventually left him, I wrote him a letter.

14 days ago
21
5
Paid

When Therapy Helps Abuse Victims – and When It Causes More Harm

Therapy can be life changing for someone experiencing abuse. A skilled therapist can help you understand what is happening, recognise patterns that have become normalised, and begin trusting your own perception again. For some victims, ther...

18 days ago
18
1

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Authors

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  • Shadows of Control

    Writer, researcher, and mother exposing coercive control, domestic abuse, and post-separation abuse. I blend lived experience with psychology research to bring clarity, tools, and hope for survivors.

  • Kelsey Decker

    I survived a cult. Later, I survived the sex trade. Now I study coercive control & human trafficking. Blending lived experience, research & advocacy to help you understand why leaving isn’t the end of the story. I call what comes after Exit Costs.

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