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Mark Graham and Ellie O'Byrne are attempting to cycle around the world! Sign up for weekly updates from the road.

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Latest Issues

A necklace of human ears

Such is the competition between soft drinks giants PepsiCo and Coca Cola in the US that in small-town restaurants, when the waitress comes to ask diners what they want to drink, you’ll hear old farmers ask, “do you carry Coke or Pepsi?” bef...

9 days ago
27
23

The million dollar shithouse

“That is the first time I’ve ever seen a hotel manager’s arse before checking in somewhere,” Ellie said, a little shell-shocked.

“It was very broad and pink,” she added, “a lot like a large sow.”

The small and unkempt reception area of T...

16 days ago
37
27

In the clink and on the brink

As the heavy wooden door of the county jail slammed shut, I peered through the bars into the gloomy interior.

Mark sat on one of two folding cots inside. He sighed, took out a harmonica and played a mournful little run on it.

Pretty soo...

24 days ago
28
15

Roger Barron’s barn is barren

On more than one occasion I’ve been asked to repeat the word “aluminium” so that American folk can laugh at me nailing down that final “i.”

However, international linguistic piss-taking is two way street. Little do some of these folk know...

a month ago
28
22

Mr Zaunderpants and two degrees of separation

If you have never gone to Sunday dinner in a stranger’s house while wearing someone else’s pants, it’s vital that you should let the rest of the guests know your pants situation as soon as you get in the door.

It will grease the wheels of...

2 months ago
29
18

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  • Mark Graham

    Ellie O’Byrne and Mark Graham are self-confessed bumbling idiots. Tune in for weekly updates as they attempt to cycle around the world. What could possibly go wrong?!

  • Ellie O'Byrne

    On a career break to cycle around the world from 2025-2027. Weekly Substack with words images and video from that journey.

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